Happy 4th!

I just want to take this opportunity to say happy 4th of july and many thanx to my parents for moving to america and helping overcrowd this bung hole. So go camping, light fireworks, bbq, rafting, farting, drinking and whatever. Eh. Over it.






Posted by HORSEPRIDE

Less Than Jake

The other night Less Than Jake played in Orlando and it was super fun! They've been keeping me super busy for the past year and I have plans of working them til Dec or Jan. It's crazy, this band doesn't stop moving and releasing stuff. I had fun hanging with them at the show chatting it up, but the main reason I went was to check out the stage set-up that I designed for them! I was so stoked to see how the print job turned out their equipment. I designed the front of the two Ampeg fridge bass cabs, two Marshall cabs, the bass drum head and the backdrop. It looked so much cooler in person. I totally forgot my camera so I borrowed my friends to take some pics but they didn't turn out so great. Eh, whatevs. When I got to the show the drummer Vinnie asked if I could paint something on his drums in UV paint. This paint dries semi-clear and appears once you put a black light on it. How fucking rad!?!? So I painted a bunch of ghosts on it and I can't wait to see pics of what it will look like when it's lit up! I also got to check out all the merch I did for them at the merch booth. I will post another blog about that though. That's gonna be a long one!
Party.









Live shot photos courtesy of Jen Lato.

Posted by LESSTHANHORSE

Holy shnikes!

My good friend sent me this video as a comment on myspace and I'm in awe at the level of superstardation this kid has achieved in Guitar Hero 3. I'm surprised the guitar didn't catch on fire or he ended peeling his skin off like a costume and revealing himself to be an exact replica of Kerry King of SLayer in banshee form!
Whenever I play it just sounds like a bunch of coins dropping on the ground. My Jimmy Dean sausage link fingers will never be able to shred like this kid. What a tard.


Now beat this hot shot! If you think you can shred this fast then this guy will give YOU the keys to the Lamborgini! Allllright!
Seriously though, check out this pickle kisser work his magic in his Gold's Gym tank and sweet axe made out of some left over erector set pieces and some pvc piping spraypainted in silver. I mean come on! His name is Michael Angelo Batio! WTF!?
Wait for 2:56, it'll burn the hair off your titties!




Posted by TWEAKERBITES

Batman wins, Horsebites loses.

So I went out with a bunch of my friends last night. It was probably the weirdest/funniest night I've ever had. I barely remember most of it since I was drunk and got knocked out cold for a couple seconds. Here is how my friend Joey from Team Doom tells it.

"Alright...

So last night, we are all leaving BBQ Bar in Orlando to enjoy a delicious pita from the Pita Pit. Eric - I'm pretty sure that's his name - stepped on Kevin's shoe and gave him a flat tire. Kevin's drunk ass completely lost his shoe trying to put it back on. Eric then threw it across the street. They proceed to play football or something with it. Some crazy tiny dude with a broken arm thought our sporadic yelling had something to do with him and got all up in our faces, "What the fuck did you say about me?! What about my broken arm?! I'll fight all of you".

Cue Erin - Amy from FBR's twin sister. She stepped in and was trying to diffuse the situation / his anger, and it backfired on her - because he hit her in the face.

Once he did that everyone got all "DID HE JUST HIT A GIRL?!". So this giant blond guy in a green polo that none of us knew (we called him batman, so I will do that from here on out) showed up out of nowhere. Batman proceeded to choke commander the guy with the busted arm until the dude literally passed out completely. He then dropped him face first into the curb. It was the most incredible noise that I've ever heard. Some other random dude walked by and said "Yo that guy just killed that other guy!".

Batman then disappeared into the night, never to be seen again. Seriously.

After all this went down, broken arm's brother got all mad and started getting into Richard's face. He had it in his mind that he had to avenge his brother by murdering Richard apparently.

Richard was all, "Dude chill out, everything is cool, we don't even know that dude (Batman)." -- and then BLAMMO! Dude hits Richard in the face (low spirits) in the middle of the street.

This causes everyone to lose their shit again. Kevin goes out kicking the guy and get's into a little scuffle with him. Eric tries to get at him too. After that Ben came and held the two of them back so we wouldn't get in trouble with the cops, who were pretty much all over the place at this point.

We all try to dip out, and a cop chases us down the street. He's all "HEY! I didn't see what happened I need to talk to all of you!". We keep heading on. "We're all just trying to grab a pita," is what pretty much all of us are saying at this point and continue walking. Two bicycle cops stop the group of us, and one of them approaches Kevin and is like, "You were part of this you need to stop leaving." Kevin says "YOU JUST SAID YOU DIDN'T SEE IT!" Then the cop said "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME YOUR LICENSE!"

We all stand around while the cop asks stupid random questions to some of us. While this is going down, a car accident happens maybe 10 feet from us. Some chick was driving by a garage, and the person leaving the garage just slammed into the side of her car. The dude proceeded to try to drive away - hit and run - and ended up in a dead end. That kind of distracted the cops from our little disagreement.

After that they asked Kevin and Richard if they wanted to press charges on the crazy kid with the broken arm's brother. They say they just want to go to Pita Pit. Kevin may have asked the cop to make the dude buy him a pita.

Then we all finally got our pitas.

I had a fantastic time last night, and I would like to say that everyone involved is a wonderful person. Also, a special shout out goes out to Batman for saving the day."

All in all it was an amazing night and I wouldn't of changed a thing.
Long live Batman and Falafel pitas.
That's me talking to the cops with our hero doing a really good job hiding somewhere. Fun.



Photo taken by Cole.



Posted by HORSEPUNCH

Montreal!!!

So I just got back from visiting my friends in Montreal! It was so much fun! I traveled with my long time friend Ben and I had so much good food and drinks. It was SO nice to be away from my computer for a few days and not worry at all about my work. Thanx so much to Oliver and Gen for letting us stay at their comfy apartment and for letting us stink it up and wake them up every night as we stumbled in. Gen and Oliver were in a band called Fifth Hour Hero and it is one of my favorite bands. They are amazing people and even better friends. This is my second or third time being there and I always leave wanting more. Here are some pics I took.
This pic was taken the first night I was there and I thought it described myself pretty well (minus the letter "E").

I went to the park and the first thing I noticed was this crazy cat on a leash. It acted like a dog and it also barked. No joke.

Sharing a baguette and some wine. How much more french can we act?

Oliver had to rent a wheelchair for the week because he burned his foot and he couldn't walk on it. He totally felt awkward at first but then we had fun with it and were mastering wheelchair tricks and trained for Murderball.

My turn to act like Xavier from X-Men.

SHOTS!!!!

We ate at an awesome Italian restaraunt we had to bring our own wine, it ruled. When the table next to us left I ran over and stole the rest of their wine.




Matt from Fifth Hour Hero and his girl joined in on the feast!

You can't go to Canada without eating poutine. It's the best!!! I really don't know how this isn't popular in the states. It seems like it's the perfect fat filled treat one of the most obese countries in the world!

Ok, now for the good stuff! I was walking down the street late at night, low and behold it's fucking Scot Ian from Anthrax!!! Not only is this guy known for shredding riffs but also his spectacular display of facial hair! Holy shit! I ran down the street to catch up with him to ask him for a picture. He was super nice but he wouldn't shake my hand, he gave me the fist instead. Maybe he thought I would give him some sort of disease because I didn't have a goatie that went down to my titties. Whatever, it still ruled!! Where's Chuck D!?

Last but not least, friends rule and I drool. (Oliver looks like he just smelled my fart)

Check out my myspace photos for more pics!




Posted by FROGBITES

I got two turntables and a mexican!

So I was up super late last night because I had to finish painting this portable turntable top for a contest put up by Less Than Jake. What an awesome idea! I have to do three total and this was the first one. I'm super happy how it turned out and I took pics along the way to show the progress. One lucky bastard gets this sucka!
The original untouched turntable. I was hesitant to splatter paint on it but I charged on.



I put on some coats of spray paint to give it an outer glow fade and started the line work.


Let the painting begin.


Daggers!


...and were done! Booya! It's gonna be hard to let this go to some pimply faced vinyl collecter kid. Wah!





Posted by TURNHORSETABLE

FEST 6 Skatedeck for sale!!

So these Fest 6 decks just "happened" to pop up hidden in the No Idea office (wink, wink) and they are now in my hands. These are the last remaining 19 decks from last years Fest. The printing on them is perfect and they are wrapped in plastic. There were originally 69 of these bad dudes made. A piece of Fest history in the best form that it could ever be. So grab one now before they sell out and then you can buy the Fest 7 decks and start your collection. Click HERE to buy!


p.s. I would make the worst car salesman ever!

Posted by HORSESHREDDER

BEST HALLOWEEN EVER!!!!!!!!!

So it's time to start working and showing off the art for the most amazing weekend of the year! That's right, it's the FEST 7 in Gainesville, FL!!!! I've never had so much fun at other fests than this one. It absolutely slays everything else and is SO worth going! My band has had it's best shows ever here (we've played every year) and I've seen some of my favorite bands play and the vibe is so different from regular shows. Kids aren't being assholes and starting fights or have a smug look on their face. Everyone is stoked to see everyone and it's like a big party and everyone is invited (if you pay for a ticket that is!). I did the art for the Fest 6last year and it was a huge success, I got a ton of exposure from it and felt super proud to be part of such an event. I've been talking to Tony Weinbender (mastermind wizard behind the Fest) and I had a try at some of the art a couple months ago and it wasn't quite what they were looking for as a main image. After some thinking and crushing my brain I came up with some sweet imagery for the new Fest 7. I can't wait! It starts on Halloween and it's going to be crazy! Here is the logo, expect more soon.



Posted by FESTBITES

Little Brown Bird.

So I was just getting ready to fall asleep last night while I was watching some bad movie on TV and as my eyelids were getting heavy I noticed a little bird flying across my room loudly flapping it's wings. My mind scrambled and tried to wake up as soon as possible and figure out where did it come from, was the window open, how the hell did it get in here? Was someone sending a messenger bird to tell me another dude in Chile was ripping my shit off? I jumped out of bed and frantically turned the light on and to my surprise I noticed the bird was not a cute little flying creature but a fucking COCKROACH!!!!! And this dude was SO big! It looked like a shiny shoe with wings! It was so big that I could hear his legs tapping on my wall as he scurried and searched around probably trying to see the best way to fly into my mouth or ears while I slept. If there are a few things that you know about me, it's that I HATE roaches, frogs and lizards. All for the fear of them crawling in my mouth while I sleep and I have to crunch down on the bodies to prevent them from crawling in my belly. Don't ask. The weirdest thing is, I can't kill them. If I see a frog or lizard in the road I will swerve to avoid them. This is stupid considering I could hit someone else or wreck my car just because of one these dong huffers. This guy I knew I had to kill though because I wouldn't be able to sleep and it was so big that it might be the leader of a thousand other ones and they could come after me and do fucked up shit in my room. I've seen Joe's Apartment, I know what the possibilities are.
So I ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel and figured I could wind it up and snap it to death, kind of like how jocks play around in shower rooms except this one ended in death instead of repressed homosexual tendencies. Like an idiot I get close to the beast and start to wind up the towel. The bastard is staring me right in the eyes and I figure now is the best time, so I go for it. I must of looked so dumb in my boxers and messy hair trying to be a brown Indiana Jones. Of course I miss and he bolts for my head. I freak out and jump over the corner of my bed and hit my BMX bike and fall in to the wall. Shit was getting deep. I looked around the room but the banshee was no where to be seen. I started to think it could be on my back just waiting for me to calm down and then he could strike. I shook my shirt off and assumed he was hiding somewhere on the other side of the room. I got back on my bed and waited for him to make his move again. Now I'm wide awake and ready to break some shit. I hear nor see nothing for a few minutes. I know I can't go to bed because that's what he wants me to do. I decide to trick him and turn off the light and chill on my bed. I hear something move. I jump up and turn on the light and the noise stops. Now I feel like I'm in an episode of Mr. Bean. I turn off the light again for a while and start to hear him crawl around, I start brainstorming and figure that I can use the towel again and ball it up to throw at him. This will make him distracted and smothered with that while I grab my shoe and stomp the shit out of him. So the light is still off and I hear him scurry around and finally hear him fly again. It's such a horrible noise. I'm ready for war now and I turn on the light and there he is, he's now on the ceiling and crawling towards me almost as if he was saying "It's on you burrito eating retard". I'm clutching the towel and speaking to it. I couldn't help but say "you're dead". I go for a second attempt and peg the banshee off of the ceiling and he falls with the towel and on the couch, I move in for the kill. I see him and he runs under my desk and I see his long antenae moving around and I grab and slam a ruler down on his feelers and peg him down. I try to drag him out but he gets loose and runs to my printer stand and I strike with victory. He pops like bubble wrap and not like a break dancer. I felt guilty immediately but I know it had to be done. I can now sleep peacefully. Maybe I will make a piece dedicated to him and his efforts of ruining my night.
At least I didn't act like this guy. But I can feel his pain.



Posted by ROACHBITES

Ripped off, endless bummer.

My good friend and talented duder Derek Deal made a post on Emptees yesterday exposing a guy in Chile who is taking a bunch (23 to be exact) of my designs, Dereks, KOA and a ton of others from small to big designers and selling them in South America. Here is the post. It is such a bummer cause there's hardly anything we can do about it because of the situation. Supposedly it's very easy to get away with this stuff over there because not much investigation is put in to these ordeals because they will just pop up somewhere else. I think the worst part about this is I'M CHILEAN!! He's giving the rest of my peeps a bad name! He even has the audacity to use my shirt templates for his bootleg business. What an asshole. So if you check out the link and find his email then give him hell! I wanna design a metal burrito with spikes and razor blades, then magically make it real and teleport over to him and shove it so far up his ass that he has to pee out of his belly button and poop out of his ears. What? Anyways, the guy sucks and it's people like him who are raping careers for dudes like me. Yeah, I said rape. Here are some of his ripped off images that he put his watermark brand over it. It's called "Chaos of Zombies". LAME!!!!!


*UPDATE*
Both of his Flickr accounts have been deleted!!!!! Woo hoo!!
Victory for now, but I'm sure he'll pop up again!
Thank you Derek and to everyone else who gave a shit!

more funny fail pictures at FAIL Blog



Posted by BOOTLEGBITES